Brands with your Breakfast

In what may very well turn out to be the most brilliant idea in modern marketing, CBS will unveil a new advertising platform this year: your food. It seems the vast mix of conventional advertising mediums–like print, television, radio, Internet and outdoor–is just too shallow to effectively deliver everything the CBS brand has to offer. So starting this fall, CBS will be coming to you directly from your refrigerator, as a laser imprint on your eggs.

Responding to the overwhelming crowd of entertainment ads in newspapers, magazines and Web sites, George Schweitzer, president of the CBS marketing group, decided it was time to think out of the box and really get in your face. "You can’t avoid it,” Schweitzer chuckled.

The inspiration for the experiment apparently arose from the dismal lack of promising programs for the fall line-up. Without the quality programming to draw bigger audiences, CBS has shifted funding priorities to marketing in order to build positive brand associations through aggressively intrusive messaging.

The tactic has already given new life to CBS’s staff of writers, who are referring to the medium as egg-vertising. Newly inspired slogans are said to include: "CSI” (“Crack the Case on CBS”); “The Amazing Race” (“Scramble
to Win on CBS”); and “Shark” (“Hard-Boiled Drama.”), while ads for new comedy shows include “Shelling Out
Laughs,” “Funny Side Up” and “Leave the Yolks to Us.” Plans are said to be in the works for a new police drama with an ironic edge based entirely on breakfast puns.

The egg advertising follows months of research and development into food-born messaging, with CBS now positioned to corner the egg-messaging market, and staking initial claims in breakfast produce and meats.  While basking in the glow of this masterful stroke at CBS, Mr. Schweitzer remained modest. “I think, it’s like, you know good ideas when you see them.”

6 thoughts on “Brands with your Breakfast

  1. Chris

    Yes. Me too. In fact, I’m dusting off my dotcom credentials to get in on the ground floor of a venture that will blow the doors off this new food-advertising market. It’s a vegetable media derivatives stock exchange. Right now, carrots seem to be the hot ticket because of their imminent etchability, while no one wants to touch brussel sprouts or leafy greens.

    But I think a good strategy may be to buy leafies while they’re down–I suspect someone will come up with inking technology will allow you brand every leaf, and the ROI will go through the roof!

  2. Mike Moore

    This could be the greatest thing since I herd about square watermelons!

    I can see the advantage and clear distinction that CBS will gain with this tactic but how long will it take to become the next “livestrong” yellow wristband? Soon we may have everything from the “daily joke” branded eggs to eggs advertising ring-tones and acne creams. I think it’s a truly unique idea and has tons of potential with the amount of money CBS puts behind it. Hopefully the ultimate advertiser will not be responsible for damages caused by egg throwing 🙂

    On the upside if you have not started a collection of anything, now is a great time to get set for eggmania!

  3. Harsh Dhundia


    I don’t thing I agree. I don’t see the value of this marketing campaign…to me it seems like one of those Bzzz creating campaigns that Dave Balter talks about in his book, Grapevine – The art of Word-of-mouth marketing, that don’t really get you anywhere.

    Also, it is not quite that original…didn’t we all see Pringles chips with imprints of pop icons on them? I think that was a better way to get people to buy chips than this.

    I’m just wondering why you would think that this is a good idea?

  4. Chris

    Sorry. I was being sarcastic. I guess I didn’t draw the line far enough across the barrier of the ridiculous. I thought “with CBS now positioned to corner the egg-messaging market, and staking initial claims in breakfast produce and meats” would do it….

  5. Harsh Dhundia

    duh…sorry, I commented even before I read the whole thing. I just read the first two lines and clicked on the hyperlink. 🙂

    Nah, you drew the line far enough.

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